Deep Thoughts, pt. 1 (Lime Disease)

My friend Mark is a pusher. He has me hooked on Lime Tostitos. At first, I only indulged in them at Mark's house, in social situations. (I reasoned that this didn't alter my status as a healthy foods person, one who shuns the "snacks/soda" aisle at the grocery store.) Then yesterday, in a fit of deadline-induced madness, I sank a little lower into addiction. I started downing Lime Tostitos in the middle of the day. Alone.

Lime Tostitos are not ordinary corn chips. No sir. They are corn chips sprinkled with unnatural, dark green specks — specks that would prompt any sane person to assess the bag as rotten and toss it away.

That didn't stop me from opening a bag — the first such bag I'd ever purchased for myself — in the parking lot of the grocery store. I ripped happily into the clear cellophane, eager for the salty-limey fix. The bag split and exhaled a chilly breath, perhaps made more noticeable in the humid space of my automobile. Gingerly, I reached a hand to the chips. They, too, were chilled. Not moist, at all. But definitely cool to the touch.

Is this chilly blast normal for bags of chips today? That can't be entirely natural, can it? Is the process chemical? Harmful? And, if so, what is the antidote for someone who has already eaten about a half bag of tainted chips?