Friday, October 29, 2004

Knock Knock

Why are there no jokes about academia? (Apart from the the dark, self-hating category of humorous novels that are set in academia, that is.) Shouldn't we start to invent some? As in, "So a professor walks into a bar..." Or, "Why did the adjunct cross the road?" And, "How many committee meetings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

Unable to operate the fold-out handle technology on a tiny paper cup, I drizzled hot chocolate on my students' quizzes yesterday. Eep. Now that the cocoa has dried, they look particularly disgusting. At least this isn't as bad as the time that my cat quite literally puked all over a student's paper. As it turned out, the cat had accurately assessed the paper he victimized, but that didn't make it right.


At 11:13 AM, Blogger ~profgrrrrl~ said...

Hmmm Let's work on this.

How many committee meetings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


1 to set a time for the committee to meet on a regular basis
1 to decide who will chair the committee
1 to decide if it should go to subcommittees to break up the work
1 where everyone confesses to not having done the work they meant to do between the committee meetings
1 to determine that no one knows the process for getting the lightbulb and we need to ask the admin
1 to review the results (from asking the admin)
and finally,
1 to decide to ask the admin to take care of getting the bulb changed.
(Note there's not a final one to make sure the bulb was changed or evaluate the effectiveness. Nah, once we take action we're ready to drop it)

At 1:16 PM, Blogger mean regression said...

a student asks the prof, "can I leave the lecture? i have tonsilitis." after the lecture, on her way home, the prof sees the supposedly sick student walking with a gorgeous woman. the prof confronts the student and says: "hey, with such tonsilitis you should be in bed."

ba da bum

At 7:49 AM, Blogger YelloCello said...

Profgrrl, I love it. (Maybe because it rings so true this week.)

Mean regression, I don't get it. What am I missing? Is the joke that the woman is "tonsillitis"?

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