Red All Over

Because I'm a child of the 80s, my first thought was, "Didn't something like this happen in ET?" About to strip naked and jump into the shower, I jumped instead at the abrupt appearance of a giant man floating outside the second story window. Darting back into my study, I encountered yet another man, this one waving a giant butcher knife...

...or, okay, maybe it wasn't it knife, but a giant roll of butcher paper, with which he swiftly mummified the study window. Back in the bedroom, a third man slapped paper over the two remaining windows, blotting out the sun and me. Scooping up our cat as if he were Drew Barrymore, I raced downstairs in terror, shrieking to discover each of the doors blocked by men in spooky white uniforms.

The house painters are here.