Inertia

Ugh. Feeling so hopeless and lazy and uninspired tonight that I'm contemplating (for the hundred trillionth, zillionth time) what it would mean to leave academia. The classes I'm teaching are going very well, but I'm having trouble regarding their subject matter as important. (Important enough to be my life's work, that is.)

Am having fantasies of working in public health, or for health insurance reform, or in "alternative energies" research. Anything that would be more meaningful and less exploitative. Anything that let me earn a better wage and that is less emotionally taxing. (No laughter, please. I've just spent the better part of today and yesterday with twelve lovely freshman, but now I'm all out of love.)

Despite my bravado of a few months ago, I really don't want to live apart from Adam next year. What kind of opportunity would make that conceivable? And how likely is it that such an opportunity will be mine?

Ugh. Ugh. Ugly intertia. Flavored up with a gummy serving of self-doubt.