Where I am

I can’t wait for the kid to get here. I hope the kid doesn’t get here too soon.

I miss my regular clothes. I miss great sex. I miss being able to dance in the kitchen without feeling like a cow.

I forget what it’s like to have a waistline. I saw a picture of myself from June and my skinny body looked strange.

How can I be this far along and still have all that much farther to go?

Those baby kicks still haven’t lost their novelty. My furnace bod is a favorite with the cats.

“Episiotomies are the worst.” “Episiotomies aren’t all that bad.” “You definitely want to avoid drugs.” “You’d be crazy to deliver without drugs.” “Nursing is far more traumatic than the birth.” “People with red hair have extra-sensitive nipples.” (?)

“A midwife? Couldn’t you find an OB?”

Mom: “I hope you’ll write your novel before you’re wiping little behinds. Kids have a way of taking up your whole world.”

Mother-in-law: “I used to read novels while Annie played with her toys. Because caring for an infant isn’t the most stimulating job in the world.”

Mom: “People who have children tend to be less selfish.”

Mother-in-law: “I respect Annie’s decision not to have children, but I don’t understand it. She wonders if people will think she is selfish.”

(Mom and Mother-in-law are taken aback at my vehemently expressed preference for our friends without children. Whoa. Where did that come from?)

Adam gives gentle hugs. Adam kisses me and calls me beautiful. Adam falls asleep with his hand on my belly.

Adam is so much kinder and funnier than he was in graduate school. How did he get like that? How did I get like this? Better, and so much happier than before?

We raised each other to be better people. So we might do just fine with a newborn.