Dear Pope

When you became Pope, my grandfather was unnerved. “I’m older than the POPE!?” he said. It was an odd moment for him.

Now you’re gone. And my grandfather is still here. Except that he’s not my grandfather anymore. Some paranoid man, one who is violent and cruel to his daughter, is living in his body instead.

So, please, dear Pope, maybe you could see about taking my grandfather with you? My mother has been taking care of him for over ten years now, and I think she’s done her part for the culture of life.

Please, Pope. I don’t mean to be snarky. I loved my grandfather, and, despite our differences, I always did like you. I’m also glad that you’re not suffering anymore. But I think you really owe the women in the Catholic Church. So how about doing just this one favor for my mom?

Thank you.