What does it mean...

... when you feel suddenly mute before your keyboard?

It's like approaching a piano with a melody in mind and then having to acknowledge that these fingers can't get it to play.

It's like my dreams last night, in which I was working on an unlikely gamble. In which I was tacking together screen doors and replacing the paper towels in a building destined to sink into the mud.

The strange subtext of that last dream was the strangers' universal relief that I was there to save the day. I alternately despaired their passivity and cursed my proclivity for lost causes.

What does it mean that my subconscious seems to have changed frequencies? to have lost a channel of anxious chatter to a dense and probing silence?

And what to make of these uncharacteristic, self-aggrandizing visions of myself as a mensch mistaken for a hero?